The Apostle's Stool

First on the pulpit, he said
Next on the pull-pit, her bed
“Give your all to the Lord
“For he comes with a fiery Rod
“Your body, your spirit, your soul
“Your body, your now, your sole!”

Smooth, smooth operator
Fluid, fluent orator
He re-said those words
In combos- sweet and weird!

He implied,
She complied,
“Rhema, yes sir
“Ah mama, please sir
Beats–“Ride on, ride on Pastor!”
Bleats- Sheep, Shepherd, Rod, Pasture

For, “Honey, Sister Honey…”
Sure makes a sister horny
She re-heard those words
In combos- sweet and weird

She worried,
He parried,
“What if we were caught?
“What if we fought?”
“We wouldn’t ‘cos I love you!
“Jesus… I so love you!”

But Conscience- a bitch
Waves on the beach
The guilt done kicking in
The filth, the done, the licking, the Sin!

So she’d be reaching,
And he’d be preaching,
“I’ve had relations…”
“I have some revelations!”
“I, we…we have been sinning!”
“We winners, winners keep winning!”

“For does this unholy scene,
“Needs to be wholly seen?”
For “God” is his fort,
And she is his fourth!

From the pulpit, he’d say,
But from the cess-pit, she’d say,
“We had sex…ten times!”
“She’s bitter, she’s sour, like limes”
“The devil…he’s a liar!”
“She’s an evil woman for hire!”

And They would say “Ha!”
Then They would blame her
He’d be Solomon- a wise man,
She’d be Stephen- a stoned (wo)man!

Synopsis: The Apostle’s stool is a poem that allude’s the accusations of sexual relations between a popular Nigerian pastor and a gospel singer. Although it is premised on a biased opinion but it’s assertive on religious hypocrisy, the domineering nature of men and how women tend to be at the receiving end of it all.

Author: Kolabomi✌ Adeko                                                                                         Profile: is a physicist and poet. He studied at Obafemi Awolowo University for his BSc and MSc in Engineering Physics and Theoretical Physics respectively.

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